April 8, 2013 (Week 34)

April 8, 2013

Man. It sure was tough to drop Westhoff. I felt like Tom Hanks in the undisputed CLASSIC (mom) Castaway, losing Wilson.

It's alright. I've got Spalding now. His name is Elder Lehikainen. La cain. basicamente.

 

Sick Companion

Well.. He got here, and we worked pretty hard for a day. He had never knocked a door before, let alone contacted or seen 2 story buildings. He was in a pueblito in Tuxtapec for 3 months. He's right out of training.  So im his padrastro [stepfather]. Well not really. He had

a step father too, and then me. But he's had 2 transfers in Mexico. His stomach was pretty weak right off the bat, he got sick from Mondongo his second week in Mexico. Poor kid barely recovered from that one. And then he gets here, and Wednesday he starts going to the bathroom a ton. We go see a little farmacia clinica and they just tell him he ate something bad and here's a few pills. Nothing changed, the Hermana Treviño sent us home at 6:30 Wednesday, and he went to the bathroom with some pretty heavy diarrhea about every 20 minutes... We woke up Thursday and went to the hospital. We were there till Saturday.... FREAK. So long being cooped up in a room. He was hooked up to all sorts of machines and had to drag his pole and IV to the bathroom every 15 minutes. Try being in a small room with that for 3 days... ooooh boy. I used my tie as a breathing aid. Well. he had (has) salmonella y gastritis. Super fun right? yeah. But the first night he had a fever. So they had the clima [air conditioning] blasting at 12 degrees Celsius that night. That's like 45 degrees... The dumb nurse wanted 200 pesos for a sheet or pillow. I said vete [no way] and tried to sleep. It was freezing. I had the clothes on my back (white shirt, dress pants...) and got about 30 minutes of sleep. I had to leave every hour or so to warm up. But I ran into this guy from Layton my first day as I was ordering food. Gary Child. White guy that looks like Uncle Cary. Gave me such a scare. I haven't seen a white adult in 8 months... he is LDS and works selling software to hospitals down here. Which by the way, he hires RMs to do sales pitches in South America. Great guy. Offered to buy me food after his meeting because he knew I couldn't leave. 3 hours later he tracked me down and gave me a sandwich, juice and m & ms. Super chill. Really nice of him. I'll get a letter off. He gave me a business card.

By the way, i still HATE doctors and hospitals....

View from the Hospital

Anyways, I ate crappy hospital food and slept and read until the president rescued us Saturday at 5. Got to priesthood just in time. Watched that, slept after, went to the other two, not that great in Spanish. We watch them at the Stake Center. That got a little annoying. But it was still good. I really liked Hollands and Uchtdorfs in Priesthood. It is time for the members to take an active role. It's a good message for Mexico, and the US. Well, the world.

I've been sitting on my roof of my house a ton lately. I just watch the ocean clouds pass by for an hour and go to bed. It's keeping me sane. I love those Giant sunflower seeds, Dad. Send a pounder :) haha But no. I love sitting on the roof. Westhoff and me did it a ton, and now my comp likes it too. Really helps calm down the night.

As for a positive story, I lost my arm this week. The only downside to hammocks is that if an extremity of your body hangs out, it cuts off circulation. I woke up at about 6 and realized my arm was gone. Westhoff, was already awake, couldn't sleep or something and was watching intently as to what my subconscious was doing. I slapped away at my arm and tried to bring it back into the fold, but failed for about 5 minutes, and then finally got it in. Westhoff was dying inside. Reminded me of the time I got my wisdom teeth out and feel asleep with my arm behind my head and started yelling "I can't find my arm! Where did my arm go?! "

Convert at Conner's Birthday Party

Well.. I'd better go. Love you all. hasta la proxima, Elder Mortensen. 

April 1, 2013 (Week 33)

April 1, 2013

Freaking pansies. We went back to the apartment with 6 TJ´s [Jehovah's Witnesses]. They live downtown and are all 26 or so. They gave us a folleto [brochure], didn't have a sprinkle of doctrine. they won't read ours. We went back to ask questions, because that's how you convert them. You put them on their territory so they feel good, but then you start asking where they get the authority or just trip 'em up and then you've got your in. Well anyways, these women (3 year old girls more like it) saw us, and shut the doors. We asked, "we just have a few questions!" After 5 minutes one came out and said: "I don't speak good Spanish. I can't answer you why Jesus isn't Jehova or why he came in 1914." Pansies. She went back in! Anywho. We got into it with some pretty prominent TJs. Like top notch big guns of Veracruz. They told us to come by later, (street contact) and we did. We started talking on the doorstep, and they said they didn't have time.. so.. I pulled out my Bible and we ended up being there 2.5 hours on a doorstep. So dumb. They know they are wrong. I do have respect for them though. They work harder than 3/4 of the members of the Church of Jesus Christ. They go out and proselyte every weekend, and they know their doctrine, as false as it may be. But anyways, this time was great. The entrie entrada knew that the TJs were at it again. We tried to be calm, but the guy kept telling his 18 kid to shut up so he could yell scriptures at us, hahaha. Didn't get anywhere, and so I asked if Christ had a body. They said no. Then I said what was the point of the resurrection then? They didn't know how to not contradict themselves, haha. But then some 70 yearold guy selling tamales walks in and listens... listens... and then cannonballs in. He started planching [grilling] the TJs so hard. Me and Westhoff were all smiles and found our way out and let them continue on. Pridefull pricks! haha We tried to talk to this old guy after, Luz del Mundo, but he tried to planch us and say only Jesus Christ is the name we should baptize. We gave him a folleto and sent him on his way, like a champ. It was so random. 4 different religions. I learned a lot.

Also, the Birthday. for Wednesday, my converts, Alejandro and Reyna, told the bishop it was my birthday. We didn't know. So anyways, we get told about a random consejo de lideres [leadership council] Wednesday at 5. Weird time, weird hour. We got there and there was a YSA activity. We enter in the bishops office, and we start. I was like wait a second.. where are all the leaders? Why is the bishops daughter and Alejandro y Reyna in here? Then they brought in a cake and sang happy birthday to me in English and another girl sitting next to me in Spanish. She turned 22 with me. Really cool. Played volleyball, and then ate food. I was pretty stoked my converts did that for me.

They told me to come over Thursday at 3. So we did. We talked, then they brought in a flan they made and we ate that. Pretty freaking chido [cool]. They will be cool to keep in touch with. Computer geeks. Won't be too hard to Skype with them.

Thursday, Westhoff sang happy birthday at 6:30 to wake me up. Little did the chump know, (he should have known after 3 months) that I don't remember saying companion prayers in the morning, let alone regain functionality until 7:30. I asked him if he sang something that morning at lunch and he said, "what?? You don't remember?!" "nope".... hahahahahaha I was OUT. Like usual. He's been impressed with my sleeping skills. I fall asleep on buses and other things with such ease he's quite impressed. haha. Entonces... The food for lunch was horrible, super greasy, and Esperanza was gonna make 2 huge raisin and lime pies, but fell asleep haha. She didn't have too much money anyways. I'm alright with it. and..... the grand finale.... MOUNTAIN DEW. It came in a package for Westhoff. pictures to follow :)

I'm staying here. I get another white guy, but I'm mayor [senior companion], which only Elder Smith, from our MTC group is at the moment. The rest are still menor [junior]. So I'm stoked about that. I hated menor. There are so many knotheads on the mish lately. Good to have a few cards in the deck. Pretty hard to get the transfers. Westhoff is leaving to Temascal, an area where they baptize in a lake, speak a dialect, and surrounded by mountains.

Well. hasta la proxima, Elder Mortensen

March 25, 2013 (Week 32)

March 25, 2013

Well, I found some real interesting and deep doctrine in the bible this week...

Luke 14:20 talks about the parable of the great supper. Verse 20 says:

And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.

Read the whole parable, but that just doctrinalized my theory of not getting married a month after the mission. I have a wife, so I cannot come. Talk about being junior compañero all your life... jajajaja doctrina... chistoso [funny].

Anyways. not a whole lot happened this week. Hotter than gale here, I'm using my namebadge as a squeegee for my forehead... Pretty freaking hot, but a norte just came in. Blows dirt in your face and almost blows you over, but its better than the suraida. south wind that comes in may and cooks every living creature. woo!

 

I bought a hair clipper at walmart. Westhoff talked me into it. 400 pesos! haha I cut my own hair. Turned out like a buzz cut but it's cooler and better looking than a 40 peso haircut here. But 2 days after,  during planning he says:

 

"you missed a spot."

"perdon? "

"you missed a spot..."  

"where?"

"the back. It's a huge chunk."

"no manches. Cut it! Now! How long have you known?!"

"yesterday... I forgot to tell you."

"well shoot...."

As for me and the comp, it's getting a little old. You can only literally be with yourself for so long before the jokes are like a broken record.. Like Elder Westhoff said yesterday, in this compañerismo, there are too many chiefs and not enough Indians...

SOY CACIQUE DE ESTE TRIBU! [I'M CHIEF OF THIS TRIBE!]

We lost close to all of our investigators, and man, this area is tough. The bishop called us Sunday at 8:00 to tell us to prepare talks, so we did. 20 minute talks to help the ward. We get there, and the bishop cuts Elder Westhoff due to time, and gave me 2 minutes. He said "tienes, two minutes". Like I don't understand Spanish. So I got up there and tried to do my best to compress 20 minutes into 2, and made me look like a fool. I shot off a few disapproving looks after I sat down. Dumb chump tries to humiliate us a lot. The Ward Mission Leader won't give us references because he says they are part of the zetas [law enforcement??] and that they have huge problems! We are like "yeah... we are missionaries. It's our job to help them fix those problems".. He says "No. way too scary." This ward doesn't want us for some reason. We feel like we just pushed over a rock to get it rolling and it was centered on an anthill and now we are getting bit all over. Angry buggers liked their ward the way it was before.

Ugh. Who knows. Transfers this week.. Let's hope for getting out of the port haha! But anyways, we have fun with drunk guys. They try and break our doctrine, but they can't keep from peeing their pants or stand up straight. All of the neighbors laughed at our run in with the neighborhood drunk. Think we might have won over a few people. We bashed a titch with him and were calmly yelling our doctrine at him with our heads raised up to the second story where some ignorant Testigos de Jehova live. hahaha. Some people. Too much fun. As for that, I close this epistle.

Cacique [Chief] Mortensen.

March 18, 2013 (Week 31)

March 18, 2013

Anyways. En el mar, la vida es mas sabrosa... En el mar, te quiero mucho mas. Con el sol, la luna y las estrellas, en el mar, todo es felicidad! Ey! [at sea, life is more tasty ... at sea, I love you more. with the sun, moon and stars, in the sea, all is bliss! ey!]

I have no clue why that song popped in my head. Our taxi guy in the ward taught us it when we went to Costco and I bought 6 lbs of peaunut butter... Elder Westhoff bought the same. haha best 20 bucks I've ever spent.

By the way, if you'd like to get a few questions about the life here, I'd be happy to answer. I'm struggling for words. Just don't do gospel topics. I don't have time to go into detail. but like por ejemplo [for example]...

Elder. Is it hot down there?

Reply. Why yes. its 98 degrees in march. Thanks for asking.

Elder. Do you love cockroaches running around?

Reply. How did you know? por supuesto! [of course!]

cosas así [stuff]. haha.

wow... I'm so brain fried. What in the gale is wrong with me..

ANYWAYS. On to the list. We met a guy illegally tracting. Old guy, wouldn't let us in, Because he was caring for his sick wife. We asked to help, and he really liked that, so he let us in. Told us the second visit he lied, and she died 3 months ago. He's the funniest old guy though. Started talking about what he would do with his army weapons if someone broke in. He's like 70 haha. Of the suprising things he said, he served in the army in Acapulco. He also said he was the leader of the KKK there... he said the blacks would steal your rings and chains so he'd get half drunk and go beat em all up. The bar owners knew him personally and wouldn't let him drink for that reason. We were half incredulous half dying of laughter when he acted out some faces. Too funny. Great guy though. He's searching for the truth, but he knows his 5 person congregation isn't it. Hope we can get him baptized. He'd be great. Epolito is his name. Great guy. I hope he passes the baptismal interview questions if he gets there. He might of killed someone come to think about it....

Shrinks need shrinks. We've been teaching a guy who speaks fluent english, and a friend of his is in our ward and his class. Her mom is a professional shrink. Good people though. I just realized I'm more sane than the people that make people sane. It's a horrible cycle to get caught in. Can't whine. Her son got back from Mexico off his mission and him and his sister and mom were the only ones out of the ward to go to the Baptism of Trinidad. He's cool. Really good teacher. The mission was his zone. People guy.

Speaking of Trinidad. She got baptized. Her daughter came and wants to listen more. Super chill. Her and the family that let us use their house, the same family we cut the mango tree for. The dad baptized. Convert of one year, never done it. Well the boilers don't work too well down here, so the water is pretty cold. Her and el hermano Arturo got in the water and were all smiles and laughing because of how cold it was. The hermana took a break before getting all the way in. They were both freezing, but had to do it again because her elbow came up. They did it again, and both were immediately warm. She said, "well what do you know? The water just got really warm." Super funny, but they are both funny, so I guess that's how they feel the spirit. It was really strong. She told us after her interview that she hadn't been smoking for a week before. She wanted to do it by herself, so she never told us. Que necios somos [We are fools]!!! She's amazing. Loves the church, the feeling she has, and the fact that she's clean from her past. She told us that her step mom beat her for wetting the bed when she was 6 so she ran away. She eventually went back until 20, and then went back again to care for her abusive stepmother when she passed away and even forgave her. She's incredible. Pure gold. I love putting in work for the peeps. It makes it that much sweeter when a person like her with habits and stuff just come out clean and love Jesus more than anything.

As for other miracles, we've been wanting to find a family. So we did how the servant did in Genesis 24. He told God specifically where he would be, and what the woman that was going to marry Isaac would say. So we fasted, and put it to the test. We went back knocking this huge street, REVILLAGIGEDO, and knocked the whole dang thing. We went back for this Catholic guy that told us off. Had a 30 minute conversation in English with him, got only a few steps. Didn't want much. but then his 16 year old son comes flying out and tells us he wants to know more and asked for a book. It was crazy. We think we found the family to help the ward. Gotta get 'em baptized. Real educated, and strong in their beliefs. they'd be amazing for the ward. After that, we went to the DL house to get mail. I got the ensign, and a letter from Dan. Going on a mission. Call should be here soon. I almost broke down when I read it. I've been hoping he'd go since I put in my papers. I'm still hoping the rest of my friends will ask and find out if they should go. They really don't know what they are missing. So if anyone reads this, the mission is great. Super hard, but you find out a lot about yourself, and about how your life fits in with Gods. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else on Friday nights... It;s crazy. Especially for me.. La iglesia es verdadera, El Libro de Mormon es perfecto, sin ninguna sola duda en mi corazon. Yo sé que Dios me ama. y les ama tambien. Así Es. Nos Vemos. [the church is true, the book of mormon is perfect, without any single doubt in my heart. I know God loves me. and loves them too]

Elder Mortensen.

March 11, 2013 (Week 30)

March 11, 2013

Tina. Eat the food. Tina! Eat the FOOD. EAT THE FOOD Tina!  -- Napoleon Dynamite

Man. I feel like Tina on the mission. People just bring out plates of meat, beans, and other things. Then when you say "no", they are like "well was it not good?" You say "no it was great, but I'm full." Then they say "oh, el elder no le gustó".... then you have to eat the food, Tina. ugh. I'm gaining weight. They could realllllly use an oven. Or some variation. The food here is great, it's just that they cook the easiest things over and over, breakfast lunch and dinner. I don't know how they don't die... hahaha but no, they just keep their dishes in the oven. Everything on stove top here. Yum, yum. Esperanza, is also a chef. Really. For her work. She made us a meal of fried potato chunks on bottom, shredded lettuce, cream, limon, and pulled chicken. So huge, so good. I would love a nice salad! or steak. Ooh man. Call Texas Roadhouse. Tell em I'll be waiting.

As for this week, Trinidad smoked. Then she got really offensive. like attacking the fact that all the 3 and 8 witnesses are the same family. She already knows it's true. I don't know why she was doing it. Her and her smoking daughter were justifying smoking with the thoughts that the more you know the more God can condemn you. We were like what the the gale just happened.... but no. she's back on track. We gave the word of wisdom and baptism a break, but we will hit it hard tomorrow. She needs to stop if she wants to get baptized. but yeah. Shes pretty cool still. hahah

We have a pet frog. Of all the creatures that run around our house, like the 10 inch rat out back, or the ants that swarm randomly out of all of the walls to eat crumbs, literally like 4000 of em sometimes, and they bite un buen. But no, of the leeches in the bathroom, the constant mosquitoes, the ants, and cockroaches,.. a frog crawled out of the drain. He just chills in our bathroom now.  He's pretty cool. Can't get mad at me for having a pet if I didn't bring it in hahahahah.

Stake Conference was cool. It was broadcast from SLC to 55 stakes in Mexico. the YW general president spoke, some guy from the Presidencia de los 70 and Elder Bednar and Richard G. Scott. Elder Bednar was translated, but gave a good talk on the atonement, and repentance, then Elder Scott came in, and I was about to sleep, but then he pulls out Spanish. Pretty good speaker of the language. Gave a really good talk on the sanctidad de la mujer. Talked about how they should act, dress, compose, and basically how they should be. He talked about how men should treat their wives, and among other things. He planched with love. Actually a good talk.

As for the final paragraph, I have a laugh. Our new name for ourselves, es los cruzados. We go on crusades against things we don't like. One, and the most recognizable battle we won as cruzados, es la coca. The bishop started preaching apostasy, and how we couldn't have Coke in the church, especially the elders, and how its bad. We started the crusade. Houses would ask us if we wanted coke, then would remember that we couldn't drink it. We said noo..... we want it, we can drink it. it Doesn't even have caffeine down here. It's about as harmful as rootbeer. Anyways, everyone in the ward knows we want coke, and we can drink it. We personally drank 3 Liters at the bishops house hahahaha. but... we shot ourselves in the foot. Everyone offers us coke now. We smile and go along with the joke, but we drown inside, well literally drowning of coke. but, for the sake of the crusade, we wont back down. hahaha algo para reirse! les quiero. nos vemos el lunes que viene. fijanse, mayo ya viene, otra vez Skypeamos! Que el Señor les bendiga.

Elder Mortensen.

March 4, 2013 (Week 29)

March 4, 2013

Making Raisin Pie!

 I'm glad everyone laughed at my pain and sufferings last week, nah no es cierto. I loved the story. Already got it written en El Libro de Conner. Great one.

 

So as for priesthood blessings, I've seen miracles. Really. We have been teaching this lady Trinidad, just a contact (we aren't supposed to contact, but look at what we found. She's our best investigator. Dumb rule really. Nobody gives us a reference here... even with the inspired system of getting them the mission has..) Anyways, we start teaching her. We had a feeling that she smoked, but never knew, and wanted to wait until after she went to church once. She went, liked it, and accepted baptism to be a good example to her struggling daughters and granddaughters, but she smokes 2 boxes a day and drinks coffee religiously. She failed the first day we taught it to her, but when I went on divisions, and Elder Westhoff and another comp gave her a blessing. Shes been over 5 days without smoking or drinking. She just doesn't want to. Dios primero, she always says. It's crazy. This compared to Elder Nelson, my district leader, telling some lady she can't, because she can't smoke. She just can't. Then he will be at the gas station watching her. He's an idiot. You gotta put their trust in the Lord, not bully her. That's a big problem here. But anyways, she slept in this Sunday because she had to take care of a neighbor until 6 am, but she's going to get baptized this Sunday. So stoked for her. She's made some huge changes even though her entire family, daughters, everyone, was laughing and making fun of her at first. It's incredible to see the change in these people. I think that's really where the true joy comes in on the mission. The sad part is, a lot of elders don't go through the Lord on their conversion process, so I doubt they feel the same joy. It's crazy though, the way you feel.

I don't have a whole lot to tell you, but just that it's crazy. I don't know. I missed home a little, but now not really at all. I don't know what happened over these 6 months, but I can start to feel why people don't want to go home. I'll still come home though. I miss carpet and Mountain Dew and my familia too. Can't forget you guys :) haha. Love ya all. Cuidense.

 

Think he's pleased with the pie???

El Mejor Misionero que tienen a este momento, El Elder Mortensen.

February 25, 2013 (Week 28)

February 25, 2013

"Don't stop... believing... hold on to that feeling.... street lights... people.... ohhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! (guitar solo)" - Journey

Train hopping

This week I learned a lot about how God cares about the little things in life, and how much fun he has with his beloved children. First story. Journey. Remember how I told you I haven't heard Journey in 6 months? Not one hour after I sent that email we went searching for leather to make wallets and that song popped on. You know we "took our time" searching hahah That was great. I couldn't believe Heavenly Father gave me that little blessing to let me know he was paying attention.

Its now time for.....DEEP INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE OF THE WEEK!!!

"Coincidences are just Gods way of staying hidden" - Albert Einstein.

I figured it applies. don't faint from the profoundness, please.

But yeah, heard Journey. sweeet.

Second. We visited this cool guy, Noé. He's been inactive for a while, but him and his wife are coming back now. We ate with them Sunday so Friday they asked what we'd like to eat. He mentioned Mondongo. I said, "what in the gael is mondongo?" He said, "pig intestines." I said, "nooooo. I've already had pig feet and I almost died." We all laughed and brushed it off.

The next day, we showed up at Hna. Lastras house. She's this little old lady and her grandson served us lunch. He brings this bowl out of fat and soup. It's hairy and looks like an ocean plant with all these feelers and tubes. I said, "looks great." He said, "guess what it is!?!" No idea. "MONDONGO!!! It's delicious! Try it." I'm thinking,  no freaking way. Elder Westhoff is as pale as a sheet, we can't believe our luck, Karma, whatever it was. Twelve hours later after hearing about it for the first time, I have it. I add onions, squeeze limes, and throw in rice after rice. Didn't help. It was horrible. Remember that fish with the head Elder Smith ate? Doesn't compare. I would have loved that instead. I choked down all of my bowl, which was huge by the way, and then the grandson serves his grandma. She looks at her huge bowl and says, "I don't think I can eat all of this, and you're big and need more. Would you like more meat?" I'm thinking, meat?!? It's pure fat! Not nutritious at all! Your intestines absorb the nutrients then give them away! I said, "si hermana..." and took another huge bowl. Elder Westhoff is slowing getting his down, I learned with the pig feet that you just down it as fast as possible.

If my wife isn't at least twice as attractive for taking the hit on that, I'll be upset. I could just picture God up there laughing. He's gotta have fun with us. You know he does. He receives joy from us, so therefore, he must cause the pain in our life to make us realize the good. Mostly by food. It's funny. If I learn one thing on the mission, it would be that God is our father, and he has fun and plays jokes with us as much as we do with others. Oh well. He was just smiling and now we are too. Good times. The food is horrible, but makes for a good memory, right? Maybe that's why Heavenly Father did it. He knows I love stories. Oh well. I survived, with fingernail marks in my knee from clutching it so tight... haha asi es la mision.

[Dad's comment: As a backdrop to the next paragraph. A few times in the past, I'd come upon Conner doing something and I'd say, why don't you do it <fill in the blank> differently?  He'd say "Oh great. Now you come up with a better idea!  Eight minutes later."  Well, in Sunday School, part of the lesson was talking about enlightenment and the teacher asked if anyone had had times when they felt enlighted.  For some reason, the "eight minutes later" situations came to mind and I smiled.  I shared that with Conner in my email to him last week.]
 

Eight minutes later was great... I was washing a blender for a hermana, and I was scrubbing the bottom trying to get the salsa out. I cut myself, and was getting upset with the piece of plastic. 8 minutes later, the hermana came over and says, "why don't you just unscrew it?" 8 FREAKING MINUTES LATER. haha. I grumbled and thought about how hard you would laugh.

Well, times up. Para la proxima! Nos Vemos mi querida familia! cuidense.

Burning the tie (6 month tradition)

El Buenísimo Elder Mortensen.